The Politics of a Dress Code

Yesterday I went to a panel on the discussion of transgender topics. It is hard for me, as I am not transexual, to sometimes understand the feelings of a transexual person, though one comment really sparked my interest. The comment was how, even though on the outside a certain person may look calm and collected, on the inside they may continually have that tiny voice of worry speaking to them and making them wonder what the people around them are thinking or looking at while they walk by; wearing heels and make up for a transgendered woman or being bound and wearing mens clothing for a transgendered man was what felt right and comfortable for them inside but they may always have that tiny bit of fear about how people may react. The conversation continued that this voice of worry wasn't known if this was out of fear of how unpredictable can be (as the topic of physical abuse had already been touched on).

I can relate to this, wearing dhoti, shika and tilak around I am sometimes worried about what others may think or do even though I am doing, for myself, what feels right and comfortable. Stares of disbelief and confusion are quite common when you walk by a group of unsuspecting people

Depending on the area and people the range of emotions can change, among a group of Indians or other Hindu's I would feel very comfortable. Even if I was the only one dressed in dhoti, since I know they would understand why I dress the way I do. Walking by the average person on the street I may be worried about the stares I get or I may enjoy the face of disbelief I may give someone.

My favorite times are those when someone will shake off the disbelief and come to me directly and ask me what it is and why I am dressed the way I am. This takes away any irrational fear I may have as I realize the person is not an ignorant bigot but a curious and interested human being.  

I have gotten some very rude comments from ignorant people before, as they think I am wearing a dress or think I have some dirt on my face but in the end this is a tiny minority of people who will never accept anyone and are most likely more self-concious than we are.

All I can say, to all those Transgendered people out there, you've got courage! Keep doing what you do and enjoy it. Do what makes you feel right. Do what makes you feel you!